Many times I have seen ads and posts in places like Fetlife and Locked Men where people say that they are looking for somebody to lock them up “permanently.” It is a hot fantasy for many guys into chastity, and in a few rare cases it is a reality. If somebody really wants to be permanently locked, do they actually need somebody else to be involved and be their keyholder?

For me, being permanently locked means that you will never remove the device again. Ever. The key might as well be flushed down the toilet as it will never be used again. If there is no key and the device will never be unlocked or removed, there is really no keyholder then. If you want to be permanently locked then do it, flush the key and be on your merry, locked way.

There are a variety of reasons that somebody would become permanently locked – such as proving their loyalty and commitment to their partner, making any intimacy solely about pleasuring their partner only. In my case the idea of permanent locking is in the back of my mind, not because I dislike sex, but because my wife is asexual. Permanently locked would also be an attempt to mimic her sex drive, making sex a non-issue in our relationship.

But what about these people posting ads? I suspect that this is a lack of differentiated vocabulary. I think that the people who are posting the ads are often actually looking to be permanently controlled – giving up their keys forever, but having a keyholder to unlock them either occasionally or on a regular basis.

It is probably safe to say that even though it is becoming more well known, it is still not an acceptable topic of conversation for most people.  You are not going to talk to your coworkers about the weekend football game and then mention that your chastity cage has been on for three weeks and counting so far. It is also probably a pretty safe bet that people can’t find a partner willing to take over their keys at the local nightclub.  Many people are already posting ads in classified ad sites, joining dating sites and still it is hard to find a partner. It is no wonder that these (mostly) men are turning to any method they can to try to find somebody to play with them.

I am not sure how effective these ads are going to be though, as they are so common and so generic, with no real hook to them to get another person to say to themselves “this is somebody I need to get in touch with.” What would be in it for me, the reader, to make me want to pursue them?  We live in a world of marketing and sales pitches. We see it everyday and yet so many of us do not understand the way that marketing works.

Perhaps there is enough of a demand that somebody could start a business writing ads for people in the fetish world?

When you write an ad you are probably better served by telling what you have to offer as well as what you want. Do you really want to be permanently and forever locked, or do you want to permanently surrender control? To me it is a big difference.


Posted: 2015-09-11 in Uncategorized
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After my last post I was actually very calm about the fact that my wife had lost the key.  I knew it would show up at some point,  I honestly was not minding the idea of going much longer.

It did not end up being a problem.  It has been six months since my wife and I last had sex, and apparently the last few days she has actually wanted to do it.  She wanted it badly enough that she spent more than an hour digging around to find the missing key.

So I was finally set free, and after washing up we went to bed. The sex was intense and when I got to cum it was in buckets. The orgasm just kept going and going. Now I am spent. and the idea of putting the cage back on is so far from anything I want to think about.

I gave the special security screw key that will open my stainless steel Lori 5a Chastity tube to my wife in May 21st. The chastity tube is anchored to my penis with 0g pin secured through my PA piercing.

My wife is having some health issues and has zero libido. She is truly asexual. So for the past 116 days I have been without sex or orgasm. In some respects being locked has helped me. So many men say that they get hornier the longer they are denied. For me though it has actually curbed my libido.

I have asked a few times over the last several months if she would be willing to have sex and she has always said no. A few weeks ago she said she would eventually have to try to remember where the key was, but she was not in any hurry to find it and at the time I was tired and didn’t really comment.

Last night she dropped the bombshell on me that is actually not surprising. She spent several hours over the Labor Day weekend looking and she has honestly lost the key to the security cage.

I asked if she was just trying to play with my mind and she shook her head no. She said over the weekend she actually thought about wanting to have sex and was mildly disappointed that she couldn’t find the key so we could. I offered to take care of her with hands and mouth, but she said that the urge had passed and she wasn’t interested anymore.

I guess I should probably be freaking out right now, but so far I am actually just numb to the news. I knew chastity was not going to do anything to change her libido– and when I gave her the key it was in hopes of helping me cope with our sexless marriage. It seems to be working.

Visual reports

Posted: 2015-06-27 in Uncategorized
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A few years ago I found a web site that is great for visual calendar tracking of my chastity progress.  Then somehow I lost the site for a couple of years before finding it again.  I now have more than one year of continuous reporting on the site.

The red boxes are days that I had an orgasm and the green boxes are days without. I wish tht this site had a few more colors – like a blue for locked days, but regardless, this is my report for the last 365 days.  As you can see it has been over a month since my last orgasm, and the last one I had was a ruined orgasm (something I almost never have done)

Screenshot 2015-06-27 15.29.02Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have that screen completely green.  I know there are many men out there who would have completely red screens – some even turning the screen red multiple times each day.  If I have to do a solid color my choice is green.

Yesterday was Father’s Day. It was also a month of being locked up. My wife and I never actually discussed how long I would be locked up, and since the longest I have ever been locked by her was a month I was hoping that my Father’s Day gift would be to get unlocked.

It did not happen. 

We are traveling right now, visiting relatives all over the Midwest and are currently staying at her Dad’s house. I can understand her not wanting to have sex here, but was hoping to be able to just enjoy a few hours without the chastity tube. Instead I got nothing. She spent the day working on cleaning his attic and then went to bed early. Not even saying Happy Fathers Day to me.

Instead of getting to have a bit of relief I am now wondering “What the hell?”  I try to be patient and understanding of her circumstances of being asexual and having no libido, but she never seems to be in the position of taking my libido into account. Even five minutes of touching and teasing once a week would mean so much.
I could cope better with this if she were to just tell me how long I am going to have to wait for the key. If she would wither make a bit of a teasing game out of not knowing, or if it is now I am locked and we are done permanently I would be able to deal so much better if I knew it.

You have certainly heard the phrase “blue balls” before. The term is not entirely accurate, as the balls themselves are not what is uncomfortable, and there is no discoloration.  Instead where I feel the discomfort (I hesitate to say pain, because it is not truly painful) is in the vas deferens – and up into the lower part of my abdomen.

I have sometimes deliberately tried to give myself this feeling through edging repeatedly and then stopping completely.  Sometimes it works, and I end up with the feeling a few hours later.

What I am finding interesting is that with the use of the Lori 5a tube I am not really having the issue.  Perhaps it is because of the total restriction of the tip of my shaft, and the discomfort I get from attempted erections.  The Lori tube pinches some at the back of the tube where my shaft goes inside, and if I start getting an erection the pressure makes me feel like I am going to end up woth bruises on my shaft.

When I used to wear the CB6000s I had room to expand a bit.  I could tease myself with only mild discomfort, and often touching my nipples was the way to get me ramped up. Now with the Lori tube I find that playing with my nipples does not cause the same level of arousal.  It is beginning to seem like the Lori tube is beginning to make me into a neutered man. I don’t feel much of anything when I am wearing the tube and wearing a jock strap to support the weight of the tube.  Without the jock strap I do get some issues with the piercing and the left tip of my penis.

What is my point in all of this?  After 21 days locked in the Lori tube and 25 days since my last orgasm I am beginning to see how it might be possible to actually tolerate very long term (even semi-permanent) lock up.

I would prefer having a normal sexual relationship with my wife, but since that has become a real issue then reducing my libido down to near nothing to match hers might be the best solution for us to make our marriage work.

From Tumblr

Posted: 2015-06-10 in Chastity, marriage
Tags: , , , ,

I have been looking at a LOT of captions and images about male chastity on Tumblr lately (My Tumblr feed/blog is here).  I have even gotten brave and commented on a few things other people have posted.

One person posted about his new device, a Tube Jacket. He said his wife’s libido has dropped off significantly the last year or so, and that she does the whole chastity key holding “thing” because he wants it.  I responded:

My wife is the same. No libido at all and holds the key only because it is what I begged for. We got months without any intimacy, and now that she has me locked in the Lori 5a tune it may be much longer (years?)

He then asked me:

chastised2 asked:

Does your wife tease you at all or are you just locked up and waiting for her to do something? If yes don’t you get tied of the chastity without some type of “help” from your wife?