Many times I have seen ads and posts in places like Fetlife and Locked Men where people say that they are looking for somebody to lock them up “permanently.” It is a hot fantasy for many guys into chastity, and in a few rare cases it is a reality. If somebody really wants to be permanently locked, do they actually need somebody else to be involved and be their keyholder?
For me, being permanently locked means that you will never remove the device again. Ever. The key might as well be flushed down the toilet as it will never be used again. If there is no key and the device will never be unlocked or removed, there is really no keyholder then. If you want to be permanently locked then do it, flush the key and be on your merry, locked way.
There are a variety of reasons that somebody would become permanently locked – such as proving their loyalty and commitment to their partner, making any intimacy solely about pleasuring their partner only. In my case the idea of permanent locking is in the back of my mind, not because I dislike sex, but because my wife is asexual. Permanently locked would also be an attempt to mimic her sex drive, making sex a non-issue in our relationship.
But what about these people posting ads? I suspect that this is a lack of differentiated vocabulary. I think that the people who are posting the ads are often actually looking to be permanently controlled – giving up their keys forever, but having a keyholder to unlock them either occasionally or on a regular basis.
It is probably safe to say that even though it is becoming more well known, it is still not an acceptable topic of conversation for most people. You are not going to talk to your coworkers about the weekend football game and then mention that your chastity cage has been on for three weeks and counting so far. It is also probably a pretty safe bet that people can’t find a partner willing to take over their keys at the local nightclub. Many people are already posting ads in classified ad sites, joining dating sites and still it is hard to find a partner. It is no wonder that these (mostly) men are turning to any method they can to try to find somebody to play with them.
I am not sure how effective these ads are going to be though, as they are so common and so generic, with no real hook to them to get another person to say to themselves “this is somebody I need to get in touch with.” What would be in it for me, the reader, to make me want to pursue them? We live in a world of marketing and sales pitches. We see it everyday and yet so many of us do not understand the way that marketing works.
Perhaps there is enough of a demand that somebody could start a business writing ads for people in the fetish world?
When you write an ad you are probably better served by telling what you have to offer as well as what you want. Do you really want to be permanently and forever locked, or do you want to permanently surrender control? To me it is a big difference.